Adventures with my other half

I was eating my feelings and stuffing my face waiting for Shane to arrive. 

When he did, my socks slipped on the floorboards and I nearly came tumbling down while racing to the door to meet him. Caleb was beyond excited which was just the sweetest thing to see. 

We didn't stick around for long before we all got into the cars and drove for two hours to the lake house in Indiana. It was close to 10:30pm when we arrived at the sweetest old house you've ever seen. The bathroom and kitchen were carpeted and the decor was just adorable. Floral sofas, gigantic lamps, a glass lantern for the stairwell light and mustard yellow bench tops. It was just gorgeously vintage and I mean that in the most unhipster sort of way. 

While Kellie and I took photos of the incredible trees and their changing tones, Shane taught the kids how to skim stones across the lake while they were ankle deep in the wart with pants rolled up. Isabelle caught on really quick and was doing about two skips with each throw. She even had the art of choosing the right stone, while Caleb just found the biggest rocks he could carry and splashed them as hard as he could into the shallow water. 

I was asked to make lunch while we were there so I whipped up a spaghetti bolognese and added some maple flavoured bacon which turned out to be a really strong flavour. So now when I think of maple flavoured anything, I think of the spag Bol at the lake house. 

After lunch, Jeff and Marj (Kellie's dad and stepmom) came over (followed by McKenzie, Marj's granddaughter) and we all went out on the boat together, letting Isabelle and Caleb steer under Jeff's instruction. 

Jet lagged Shane took a nap and I ended up joining him instead of waking him up. We had burgers for dinner and converted Shane to Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce.

After dinner, Shane, Nathan and Isabelle went fishing off the jetty while I finished a page in my colouring book after a few trips to the sharpener mounted on the garage wall. Shane caught a bass! He was so proud of himself. They came back when the sun was setting and started the fire for making s'mores. The sunset was one of the most magical things I have seen. The water, the colours, the stillness of the world and family surrounding me while a fire is blazing. It was such a beautiful time. Unfortunately the Graham crackers we brought with us tasted like mothballs so my first experience of a s'more wasn't extremely pleasant. I enjoyed roasting the giant marshmallows and eating them on their own anyway so it wasn't a waste. 

Once back inside, we got taught how to play Bananagrams which is essentially Take Two but you take one tile instead of two and call out a banana related term each time. It was a good game to learn! Shane won a couple of rounds too! 

Our time at the lake house was short lived because we found out that Cedar Point (roller coaster capital of the world) was only open weekends in October. Our only weekend left was being spent at the Lake House, so we decided to leave early Sunday morning and drive to Cedar Point, Ohio- 3 hours away. 

We were overcharged for entry but only really realised half way through the day. Our exhausted and weary souls we not feeling up to hours and hours of roller coasters. We went on 5, which is a pitiful effort, I know. But know this: the five we went on were extreme thrill seekers. Especially the ones made out of wood and were a thousand years old. We actually feared for our lives going around the corners of those ones, thankful to be on solid ground afterwards. Five. We only went on five roller coasters before claiming exhaustion and starting the drive back to Michigan. Never before had I felt the sting of "getting old". I do not care for it much. 

We knew that Shane wanted to visit the plane museum whilst in Ohio, but without a lick of wifi for that day, as well as being flat out pooped after our day of adrenaline seeking, we decided to just head back to Detroit because we had no idea how to get there or if it would even be open if we did manage to find our way. In hind sight we should have just stayed a night in town because this meant that we drove all the way to Ohio again that week, 4 hours each way, on a day that I was feeling particularly unwell and grumpy. I commend Shane for being my husband on days like those. What a ball of fun I must have been. It was, in the end, not a terrible day. I absolutely love seeing my other half so excited and keen, even if that means looking at hanger after hanger filled with war planes. I think Shane would dub that the highlight of his trip (bless him!), while I have undoubtedly had better days. The real highlight of the day was finding some random pizza joint called Dewy's and being pleasantly surprised with one of the best pizzas of my life. I also got a side house salad and that was superb. Not a scrap left on my plate. If you're ever in Ohio, EAT AT DEWY'S! 

Other days in Michigan were spent shopping, going to the movies to see Martian with Matt Damon in it (another Shane pick. I was excited by the all you can eat buttered popcorn), dining out and just hanging out in general. 

I just want to take a moment to mention The Cheesecake Factory. First of all, the menu was far too difficult to pick just one meal. Secondly, the enormous sodas were always topped up. For free. Also, the food was. Unbelievably good. Shane later said that it was the second best burger (I'll get to the first in a minute) and the steak was perrrrfectly cooked. I didn't dare spoil everything by ordering cheesecake and making myself sick. I came back another day especially for it. Holy Toledo. The Lemon Meringue Cheesecake was ultimate. It was so good. I also got the Reeces peanut butter cup one and loved that but it was just a bit too rich for me to finish. I didn't get all the way through the lemon meringue one either.. But still. 

The free soda top up is a pretty common thing throughout American dining. I rate it. At Chili's, I chose a meal purely because it came with a hot cob of corn (I'm sensing a food trend here... Corn and Pizza in every country!). 

We went to Ann Arbor one day and just chilled out. It reminded me a little bit of Cordoba in Argentina, in that the whole town is basically just uni students because that's where the college is. We ate, shopped and wandered the streets. It did actually hit me hard the amount of homeless people there were in the street. Some of them so so young. It broke my heart. I was crying in the car with every sign-holding beggar we passed. I tried to give a little bit of money to each person in need I saw while we were out of the car. I thought long and hard about giving money, whether it was a good idea or not. After the shortest prayer I figured, Who am I to assume that they aren't going to spend it wisely? I don't have anything else to offer, like a Starbucks card or a place to stay. Maybe if I had more time. Maybe that's what they need. Time. Someone to hear them instead of being ogled at. Someone to say, "I'm here if you need to chat" or SOMETHING. Maybe on my next trip overseas, it could be solely to spend time with the less fortunate. Taking sandwiches and fruit with me wherever I go, along with God's protective hand. 

We left the Sarlow's place before the crack of dawn and caught a plane to New York. We were both so sleepy and sweaty and gross by the time we got to the hotel and couldn't wait for our room to be ready so we checked in early and accepted a room with two queens instead of a king bed. Who cares. The shower was worth it. So refreshed and ready to explore the city, it made a huge difference. We were reunited with Shake Shack, the very best burgers and shake in the world according to Shane, and even after three years of hyping up this place, we were both so content. 

New York was amazing. It is always amazing. We ventured to Soho for the markets as well as the infamous Mac Bar (Shane's favourite food, on par with Shake Shack) and perused the sweet little stores the quaint part of town had to offer. I adore Soho. It reminds me of Sydney's Surrey Hills mixed with Adelaide's art scene a bit. So many independent and creative stores, stalls and amazing places to eat. Williamsburg in Brooklyn was similar, but more quiet. There, we ate at Joe's pizza and I felt as though I had a true New York slice- folded in half and everything. We also went to the Brooklyn Art Library to check out some cool sketchbooks and to submit one I completed 3 years ago on my last big overseas trip. I also registered for a painting exchange, where I paint on the canvas provided, send it off and receive one in return from a fellow participant around the globe. I really love that store, the system and the connections made from being a part of something. 

Another really cool part of our New York adventure was seeing Les Mis on Broadway. And even better was that while waiting in line for tickets to see Wicked, prices for Les Mis dropped 40%. Wicked was sold out anyway, so we got prime seats for Les Mis at $60 each! Bargain. We ate at Applebee's before our show, where our waiter earned himself a decent tip for living in Adelaide a few years ago while his girlfriend worked for The Advertiser. Such a friendly human being; even though there was a line of people waiting for a table we didn't feel rushed or pushed out of the restaurant at all. It was probably a little too comfortable because we had to be at the theatre in 5 minutes and we were 10 blocks away. We BOLTED, weaving our way through hordes of tourists and locals alike. We puffed and panted all the way up the stairs of the theatre and got to our seats just as the lights dimmed and the music started that striking intro. The show was phenomenal. Whoever played Jean Valjean had me floored. I was constantly dabbing my eyes with his stellar performance. Shane asked me a few questions about it during intermission, something I am sure he soon regretted because it had me rambling and hyped up until the music started and the curtains rose again. I'm so please he at least loved the innkeeper and his wife. He was also brilliant. Potentially even better than Sacha Baron Cohen (please excuse the poor spelling, I have no idea how to spell his name) in the latest film production!

Our last night in New York was melancholy for me. Besides the fact that we are not travelling home together (separate bookings and various flight cancellations and redirections), it was difficult to process that this was the end. Shane asked what my favourite part of my trip had been and I burst into tears. It's too hard to think about it being over! Back to real life, uni, completing that chapter of my life and starting a new one. I know that should sound exciting but to me it sounds like dread. I used to be the girl who loved change. Especially drastic life changes. But now, change is scary and daunting and I just want to run away and not have to deal with anything that might put me out. Is that me getting old? Or am I going backwards and chucking a childish tantrum? Either way, I'm not looking forward to going home. 

I guess we should just try and keep up the adventures once we get there. 

Friday

I've been in the States for two and a half weeks without letting you know what's been happening. I hesitated writing sooner because I am right in the middle of everyday life here. Then I thought, "everyday life.. What does that even mean?" I was in the middle of "everyday life" in Thailand and Nigeria, and both of those were completely different to each other. Well, you guessed it - America is different again. Nathan is at work during the day, Isabelle is at school, Caleb is at preschool 2 days a week and things just sort of happen around that stuff. 

The kids are really sweet. Caleb is my little mate and can't wait to show me every single dinosaur in his dinosaur book. He also likes to educate me on his car collection. He sings along to almost all of Kellie's songs she plays in the car. Isabelle plays teacher and hands out "tickets" as a reward for good work and good behaviour. She even makes up worksheets for Kel and I to complete. I think I'm up to 9 tickets so far. They both love to draw and we will have drawing challenges where we each give someone something to draw (Nathan is of course included in this game).

We go to church on Wednesday evenings for the kid's and youth programs where the kids do their thing and Kellie is a leader for girls in year 10. My first week tagging along, I happened to meet a girl who was leading for the first time. It was so nice to meet and chat with someone new. I'd been really craving a sense of community since leaving Africa. It was so easy to bond over simple things like travel and work and all things in between. Kelsey was such a delight and made my night just so much more enjoyable. When the next week rolled by, we greeted each other like old friends. I feel kinda bad that she has invested so much of her time getting to know me and that I'll be leaving soon, when she could have been getting to know her group of girls that she will be leading. Oh well, it made a difference to me at least. 

Another sense of community I fell in love with while being here is the group of close friends that Nath and Kel have developed with two families in particular. They all came over one night, kids in one room, ladies in one corner and men in another corner. I made my way between both men and ladies groups throughout the night and felt right at home with this idea of family community. The guys were so much fun and willing to try vegemite and other Australian lollies. The girls didn't need props to have a decent conversation and I truly valued being a part of the "group" that night while the hoard of kids entertained themselves the whole night, with the occasional performance piece for the adults to clap and cheer over. 

It makes sense that I felt alive and in my element at the concept of community. Isn't that what I adored so much about "everyday life" in Nigeria? Why is this such a hard concept to put into motion back home? I feel as if Shane and I have been living on "surface" friendships with various people throughout the years. When will we move from "friends" to "community"? I was speaking with Jana about this and she pointed out to me that because my family is so spread out, I'm looking for family-quality friendships, while everyone else is just looking for friendships (if that). What a lonely place to be. God didn't give me this keen-as-mustard personality only to be dealt with semi-close or one-sided friendships. I need to trust that what I need is coming soon. 

I want to clarify something. I don't mean to say that the friendships Shane and I have now aren't good enough. I just know that I am built to go deeper. 

Another thing I know Shane and I are both craving is an area we can both serve in ministry together. I have no idea what that looks like or where it will take place but it's something else to work towards together. 

I've been extremely restless the last couple of days because Shane is coming! Caleb has been counting down the days for us which is totally adorable. Every night when he is being put to bed, I overhear him say things like "Only two more sleeps and Uncle Shane is coming!" And "Only one more sleep and it's going to be the best day ever!" Oh my goodness, Buddy.

It's been two months since I've seen my man! Only 2 hours until he lands in Detroit. Just to build the suspense, he is renting a car and driving here rather than me meeting him at the airport. I've GOT to find something to pass the time. I finished reading 'Little Women' (I ADORED IT!) and 'The Diving Bell and the Butterfly' is too sad for my current frame of mind. I have surrendered my Disney colouring book to Isabelle and Caleb so my perfectionism will need a new one. Might be time to get out the old Women's Weekly Winter Puzzle book again while I count down the minutes until I am reunited with my other half. 

Leaving Nigeria

I thought I was all cried out. Honestly, the final week with the Walkers was an emotional one. Saying goodbye to Jummai, leaving Jos and heading back to Abuja, looking at the average life of a Nigerian who want for nothing even though they are barely scraping by and so full of joy as they work so hard and long. Oh boy. The tears just didn't stop for a week. The day I left, my eyes were dry. That is, until I said goodbye to the middle bug at the airport. She was unusually quiet in the car ride, and it was because she was making me the sweetest drawing and letter in extremely minimal light of the sporadic street lamps. Incase you're wondering, I happen to be "the best Aunty ever". so I guess we can all just stop wondering who wins that category. Anyway, that got the tears going again. They are still going actually, as I type this from the plane on my journey from Frankfurt to Detroit. (That could be because I've had a collective sleep of about 20 minutes over the last 20 hours of travelling. Man, I am TIRED.)

So Abuja was lovely. The car ride down the mountain was a bit long for the girls. As usual, there were several military check points whereby you stop, roll down your window and greet the armed man, have about 10 seconds of small talk with him and then carry on with your journey once he has waved you along. There was one check point where we had only just started roll down our window as we were slowing down when the man in charged looked menacing as he told us to pull over and let the other cars pass. "I want to see you" he commanded. I tensed up a little.  When he finally came around to my window, he had a big friendly smile and greeted us like old mates. What a relief. Once he heard that we were coming from Jos as missionaries, he said "Give me a bible. I want to read the word of God." Men of such power are used to being "bribed" or simply let past because of bible donations. They prefer cash usually, but missionaries "pay" in bibles a lot of the time. I was speaking to a missionary on the compound who paid someone else's fine with 7 bibles so that the police would uncuff the accused man for having a phone charge card for sale which had expired by one day-an honest mistake. Anyway, whether the police used the bibles to read, smoke or wipe their bums with, it was a better "bribe" than paying with cash. 

Once in Abuja, we picked up Meghida (Hausa for 'man of the house' or 'husband'. I've gotten so used to calling him Meghida with Lollie and the staff at the Ministry centre. Probs not a good idea for me to use that word... Hah. I didn't learn 'brother'.) the girls were so happy to have him back. It was a different dynamic having three adults with the three kids again. I felt like I was a bit redundant, after all, I am not their parent. We were able to relax and have fun. We stayed at apartments called The Peniel which had a pool! So we were there everyday. We went to the arts and craft markets, which had a lot more to choose from compared to Jos, but they gave us tourist prices because Abuja is more of a capital city and we are white.  Tourist prices were still cheap sometimes, you just had to work the shop owners a little bit. Luckily we had Warwick with us, who has grown up an African man, so he knows what the prices should be, let alone his haggling skills which came in handy many a time. I even came through with a couple of self-haggled purchases at a pretty decent price- even though I hate to barter. The shopping centres in Abuja are where you go to get things unobtainable in Jos, things like curry powders, yoghurt and among many other things, sweet corn (not African corn that has the texture and taste of a raw potato. You cannot imagine my disappointment after seeing endless corn fields in Jos and preparing for a corn feast, only to bite down on a pot full of starchy kernels). Also in Abuja, we went to Johnny Rockets again (American 50s style diner), had frozen yoghurt at Tutti Frutti and Lollie and I finished watching our Harry Potter Marathon in the bedroom while the kids had cartoons on actual TV in the loungeroom. 

I can't believe the time with them is over. A month of Africa is already a memory! I'm praying constantly that God doesn't let me forget the things I have seen, experienced and felt as I see, experience and feel things in western culture. How I feel now is how I think God wants me to feel.. But with action. How do I turn feelings into action? What am I here for? Surely not just to feel. 

Wildlife park

For those who don't know, Arin, my 9 year old niece had her finger nearly bitten completely off by a baboon at a wildlife park earlier this year. She comforted her entire family as she held her finger together, despite the shocking sight of blood and bone. Bravest 8 year old there ever was. After surgery, stitches and prayers from all over the globe, her finger is healing nicely with a gnarly scar and her fingernail growing at a weird angle. The other day, she got the opportunity to see the same baboon and confront him. He was a lot more subdued than the last visit but Arin had no problem summoning him by calling out, "Come here you stupid monkey", poking her tongue out and showing him the finger (the scar, not the rude one). Having prayed viciously over this brave girl, I was keen to see Ari stick it to the baboon.

I did feel sorry for it though, being in such a tiny enclosure. The whole wildlife park was depressing in that respect. I'm not an advocate for having animals locked up for the sake of entertainment. The elephant looked the saddest. I wanted to cuddle him and be company for the poor guy. 

The lion was potentially even sadder, fenced off entirely and just laying there so docile. Oh it was heartbreaking. 

The snake pit had a live white bunny hopping all around it. The snake looked like it had recently eaten so the bunny was safe.. For the time being at least. 

Jummai

She smiles while she cooks, hums while she works and sings as she mops. 

She makes spring roll wrappers by hand- literally by hand- on the stove; Spreading the batter and peeling the pancake from the pan with her bare hands. 

She makes fresh cinnamon rolls for us to have for breakfast

She greets me with a warm hug every morning when she arrives. 

She tried passionfruit for the first time the other day and loved it. 

Every time I think about saying goodbye to her, I burst into tears. I wish I could bring her home with me and give her everything she and her family needs. I feel so useless in this corrupt world. Why are there multi billionaires in this country (and every other country) and people going without essentials at the same time? And what on earth am I doing with my life to change any of that? I'm overwhelmed with harsh life realities and lack of direction. 

The Lord is my shepherd. I have everything I need. 

Braids

Yes! I got my hair braided. Bitris works at Grace Gardens, which is a ministry for women to learn a trade such as braiding or sewing. She was very friendly. Mercy (girl on the far left) also works there but I think she is just in training at the moment because she was handing Bitris the hair. Five and a half hours later, I am now one step closer to being Nigerian.